


"Joshua's Just Very Kindly Offered To Not Spit On One Of Our Members."

by WhenIFindLoveAgain



Series: A Bag Of Bash For Passion [27]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: British Comedy, Comedy, Comedy RPF, Fanfiction Comedy (MICF), Fluff and Humor, Funny, Humor, Inappropriate Humor, M/M, Monopoly (Board Game), Sexual Humor, Taxidermy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:22:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26405698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenIFindLoveAgain/pseuds/WhenIFindLoveAgain
Summary: When a boring night gets spruced up by a drunk Vernon and a excitable crew of Seungkwan, Soonyoung and Seokmin, Joshua and Jeonghan face each other over a game of monopoly with Seungcheol as referee and mascots; Jeonghan has video evidence that Joshua snores like a freight train and Joshua is donated a stuffed ferret by Vernon. What could possibly go wrong?
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua, Chwe Hansol | Vernon/Hong Jisoo | Joshua, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, SEVENTEEN Ensemble/Everyone, SEVENTEEN Ensemble/SEVENTEEN Ensemble
Series: A Bag Of Bash For Passion [27]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678627
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	"Joshua's Just Very Kindly Offered To Not Spit On One Of Our Members."

**Author's Note:**

> So, um...*laughing* ok, this is very silly, but, you should see what I'm going to publish tomorrow, guys! *cackling* and as I'm writing it I'm listening to Meatloaf, so, you really are in for it. Enjoy and goodnight, girls ;)

None of them knew who quite started it, but, they were sure it was Vernon - drunk - who murmured a comment that was then taken into full force and mutated into a disaster by Seungkwan, Seokmin and Soonyoung. Junhui had been flicking through the television, and, had temporarily bumped onto a range of British shows that none of them understood.

In the end, they played a bizarre version of pommy checkers, and, in the second round, the two competitors been Joshua and Jeonghan with Seungcheol as referee, they brought mascots. Well, Jeonghan did - evidence on his phone that Joshua snored like a freight train - and Vernon randomly got something for Joshua.

All of them screamed.

It was a stuffed ferret on a walnut stand.

Vernon smiled sweetly - and somewhat dopily - at the stuffed ferret.

"That is sick!" Minghao and Junhui shrieked in Mandarin. Minghao climbed behind the tree-like Mingyu on the couch in the sitting room where they were fucking about to get away from it. 

"My Dad got him from a Mill Market in 2008." Vernon explained. "He's called Claude."

Everyone was absolutely revolted. 

"Shua, do you - do you want to play along for fun, a sort of personal battle between the two of us?" Jeonghan invited Joshua.

"No, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine." Joshua patted the stuffed ferret, pretending not to think that it was disconcerting that Vernon had had a stuffed ferret in his shared room for ages...and no one knew about it.

"We could play for Claude." Jeonghan pointed to the ferret. 

"Why - why would I already do that?" Joshua said, pointing to his chest. "I've already got him." He blinked, looking down to Claude before picming him up and looking through his stand at his nether regions. "Just check." Joshua quipped. A moment passed. "Her." Joshua assertained. Everyone cheered and clapped.

Chan commented aloud, "What a fucking genius." In turn, everyone gave a salute to him. 

"I've already got her." Joshua told Jeonghan.

"So, are you playing along with Jeonghan for fun -" Seungcheol tried to figure out the situation.

"Sure, alright, but, no, not for Claude." Joshua decided, gesturing to the stuffed creature that had pale fur and quite alarmingly sharp teeth. A ball-gnashed, that little bastard.

"Right, oh, right. Oh, fuck it - money. A grand?" Jeonghan offered, throwing his hands up lightly.

"Tell you what." Joshua ammended. "I won't spit on you when we're having sex tonight."

Everyone laughed. Jeonghan was stunned, but, very quickly recovered.

"Good luck trying it without spit." Jeonghan remarked.

As soon as Joshua laughed, everyone else cracked up officially. A approving applause came out from the spectating audience. Seungcheol, the now breathless referee, moaned softly, wiping a tear out of his eye.

"I'm wiping a tear out of my eye." He said for benefit of explanation to the others. "Joshua's just very kindly offered not to spit on our of our members."

Everyone lost it again. "I think that's a nice thing!" A pink-cheeked and laughing Joshua exclaimed. 

Seungcheol was at a loss, completely unable to gather himself. He moaned again, tears going down his cheeks. At this point in time, everyone was absolutely hysterical.

"People say I'm a savage sort of guy, but, I do do occasionally do nice things!" Joshua added, gesturing to Jeonghan.

Jeonghan stuck his middle finger up to Joshua. Vernon, still pissed, called out for three cheers for Claude the Stuffed Ferret.

Three cheers and a snog - courtesy of Seokmin - were given to Claude the Stuffed Ferret.


End file.
